I’m not sure if I would write this to my past self or my future self but there’s something I need to know. You need to remember your true identity. In the midst of all this sin and distraction remember who you are and where you come from. Don’t be ashamed or feel embarrassed. Be strong and confident in yourself. You know your self worth and everything you deserve.
Look around you. Look at your home. Your own personal things. These things are great because of you. Something is cooking and God has a plan. Trust in Him that all this pain, hard work, and struggle is going towards something great. Nothing ever worth having comes easy. If people call you selfish? Be selfish. Because you need to be focused on you and your future. It’s called tunnel vision.
Remember: if people don’t want to be present during your struggle, they don’t deserve to be present during your success. You are a beautiful child of God. You trust that every character trait that He instilled within you is there for a reason and every feature and every trait is going to be put to good use towards His glory.